I wish I were a child, when the hardest decision to make was to choose the colour of the crayon.

As we grow older, the choices that we make carry a greater responsibility and a greater impact, not only to yourself but to others around you. Situations become more complex and there are a lot more considerations. It is exciting when you finally have the autonomy to decide and freedom of choices, but yet a lot harder to choose between the range of options. My path so far has been quite decided for me, and everything was pretty much clear cut. Till this period of time whereby my indecisiveness finally cost me quite a lot.

Lesson one was learning to grab the opportunity that came my way and treasure what I have. My mistake was to have let go opportunities and fight for other opportunities, thinking it was good to have more options open. Sometimes it isnt necessarily the case. And I thought this time I was stupid not to have treasured what I had and see the merits, instead of being overly ambitious.

Lesson two was to know myself better and making decisions based on what I feel and not what society values. Having a guiding princicple in life (to be happy everyday) makes things easier for me I guess. When I think about what I hope to have at the end of the day, what I will be satisfied with, instead of craving for the best (as defined for society), it is a lot easier to feel contented and choose something that I will be happy with. Not necessarily the most prestigious, nor the most popular route..no one defines what happiness means but yourself.

Lesson three was not to look back after making decisions. Yes I believe in fate and destiny blah blah blah...but every option that you make in life..what comes after is what you make out of what you have. Many times since last year I have been stuck at crossroads, deliberating over whether to turn left or right, and end up going about in circles. But once I choose a course there is no turning back, and rather than feeling regret over what might had happened, why not see the merits of the path that is chosen? Many people ask if I will regret in the future, but I told them I'll never know, but I will make the most of what I have decided and go along with it. No regrets(:

This period of time hasnt been the best of my life (although I thought it was supposed to have been). Being too ambitious, having too high expectations and ended up being disappointed quite a few times...an emotional rollercoaster I will never wna experience again. But it has been a good learning opportunity and a period of self discovery. thank you to those who have gave me much advice, encouragement and believing in the choices I've made (although to some disappointment).

Feeling happy with my choice(: and looking forward to it!