This is kinda late, but it's time for a reflection cum new year resolution.
Two years in hwach just whizzed past like that. And i kinda regret not making more out of the opportunities in school. I think a major part of my college life would be choir, cause I enjoyed my time there the most and had the most experiences there. From olomouc and france, to yog, to SYF and all the adhoc plus school events..every single performance and practice was very meaningful. And i think in year one going overseas with the alumni was the best experience I have ever had. Looking back I can't imagine how I survived those long practices and managed my work at the same time. And improving tremendously, loving choral music and forging such strong bonds with my seniors in such a short period of time...honestly I lacked a lot of faith in the choir before embarking, because it was my first time participating in something international. And if you would compare the vocal quality of singaporeans to the rest of the world esp those in europe, I think they beat us anytime. But I was super impressed by all the work that Ms Lim and the alumni put in into making sure we had the best performance, and not only vocal quality or technicality. In france it was the first time I was dressed in a choir gown, holding an umbrella and scurrying across streets to get to the performance venue. There I experienced my first actual fire incident. There I sang in the open fields and the basement carpark. And there I met the most amazing choirs which broke out into songs spontaneously. In olomouc it was the first time I cried while performing on stage and felt the music. The first standing ovation I experienced. And to hear "hwa chong choir, singapore" being announced as champion was the proudest moment I have ever experienced.
Then there was YOG in which I got to know my batchmates better, made new friends with NJ choristers and the people working there...met (good looking) athletes^^ and had fun with a bunch of people I loved. I remember hiding in the tower and watching the young boy holding the olympic torch and running across the puddles of water, lighting up the flame, and then seeing the fireworks emerging right beside me. That was the most memorable birthday ever(: Later on taking on the role as the President...I think the best part was having such supportive batchmates because I'm a soft person, and I don't scold (which is my weakness)..but everyone still listened in things I tried to put across and I hoped I made a difference in my term. In secondary school although I had council and everything I never thought I was a good leader. Maybe I do my jobs well and I am very focused, but a leader was more than that, this I learnt while meeting other amazing people in council. So when I started out as President honestly I was very surprised why I was picked. I went through emotional turmoils through my term with jiarong loyee and seb but then everyone was supportive - the teachers, ms lim, the comm and the choir. The entire SYF journey was an experience and that perhaps summed up my first half of year two(:
And of course there was the EU trip which I loved very much, being able to go europe for the third time in consecutive years...an eye opening experience and a good break from acads. But preparing for prelims and a levels was perhaps when things started to take a turn (for the worst). Best thing that came out of it were the people I studied with..new places new studying groups new methods and also teachers who offered me their help. I overdid it. Studied like crazy as if A levels was my life and that was wrong. If I were to repeat the year again I think I would have wanted a different approach to studying. I think in my mind at that time was to do my best but I never really thought that I overestimated what I was able to take. That insecure feeling about myself is something that I would never forget and would never want to experience again. My prelim results were the worst (although most people would still think its good) in college and I scrapped through many subjects. Mrs Foo's comment on my bio paper made me cry. And I was so worried about GP and econs. Every single day I would wake up at 7 and sleep at 12 and made sure I planned my day right. Lunch no longer than 1 hour. Rest of the day would be dedicated to my bedroom. I was insane I think. And I was so relieved when everything was finally over. Six months of intensive studying is something I would never want to go through again.
But still, I miss school. The reunion with 78 last month was perhaps something I really enjoyed(: and meeting up occasionally with people I love are highlights of my life now.
This year I have so much thinking to do. About where I want to study, what I want to do, what I want out of my life, where I'll go on from here...last twelve years were pretty much fixed and planned for me. But now I'm lost in the sea of choices and every single decision I make is critical. Everyone is also stressing out over As, I will, soon enough (cause I still want to enjoy whatvever time I have before I have to face the truth). Judging by how mentally stressed out I was when I was taking As I doubt I'll do well but that's over. No matter where I land up I'll make the best of it and life still goes on right!
Alright, this year's resolution.
As with past years, to stay happy every day (although I find this increasingly harder to fulfill now)
To make a social impact in everything I do
To be a better daughter, sister and friend
To find passion in everything I do
--
I'm working at changi general hospital now, doing electrocardiograms for patients. Yes I hate being obligated to wake up and getting to workplace, and only getting off at 540pm, not being able to bum around, sometimes working on saturdays and feeling stressed about meting up expectations. But i love feeling appreciated for what I do and knowing I am doing meaningful work. It's a joy to be thanked for such a simple job and it's a joy knowing that I am making a difference. Last time I use to rant about being stuck in school studying when I could be out there doing so much more meaningful things. Now I am! And i'm happy(: Making new friends of different nationalities and races...Learning how to speak more languages...and learning how to respect cleaners, nurses, administrators and policemen at the hospital. It's an interesting job(: although I didn't mange to teach in the end ( i really wanted to D:) but I guess this is a really fulfilling job to stay on till may!
So that's all I want to say for now, hoping things will be better in the next couple of months after feeling miserable in the last few months! And whoever is reading things, may you be blessed with a happy new year as well(:
