I am very scared of what's coming up. And i think i shouldnt shy away cause I'm afraid of failing again. Being so unsure of myself, being easily swayed by what others' do and then reconsidering so many times...I should be firmer in my decisions. just go all out and try right! but really, inside i'm still quite worried and wish that the process wouldnt have to take place and i just wanna know the end result.

I think i've experienced quite a lot of give and takes this year. Losing things without knowing just to focus on other matters, relishing things that may have been important to me, but that i just cannot have the best of both worlds. It's miserable having to give up something for another, and not having the choice of which to give up.

I used to think that JC life is exciting, 'cause there's a lot of freedom (and i thought it would be slacker seeing that JC seniors always come back to visit, but im very very wrong). True, it's a lot more exciting but tiring, challenging and stressful.

this is the beginning of term 3.